National Embarrassment Playoffs

Hey! Did you see it happen?

Did you catch the moment that Trump was elbowed into the #2 slot?

I missed it but a loyal NOLAscape reader tipped me off about the memorable moment  when Wayne LaPierre pushed Trump off the winner’s podium as premier public asshole in our life.

Although slightly above normally repellent, LaPierre’s CPAC speech recycled the NRA’s essential message: some people’s freedom to kill trumps the rights of others’ to live, especially if the potential killers are paying members.

Trump handled Parkland with his characteristic gracelessness and the smug arrogance of his selective stupidity. But it wasn’t enough. Wayne LaPierre pushed him off the top.

It won’t last. Trump will bask in it for a few hours, so squirmy with relief from the demanding role of First A-hole that he might dribble Big Mac sauce on his silk sheets while trying to learn history and philosophy from Brian Kilmeade and thumb his tweet machine at the same time.

Then he will get pissed off. That dickhead LaPierre, who does he think he is, trying to get between @therealalphajerk and the camera lens?

For the public, Trump is already sidling away from the gun industry’s chief troll and bagman, Personal blame and revenge to follow, but LaPierre’s days are probably numbered anyway.

His speech and Trump’s unwittingly Swiftian proposal to arm teachers for gunfights occupy the increasingly crowded area of articulate stupidity, a field of intellectual endeavor currently dominated by Republican fools and hustlers, but don’t count the Dems out. Key skills include the ability to handle a microphone while trying to sound tough and kiss the corporate oligarchy’s ass at the same time..

Some on the Alex Jones side of Renfieldism say the Parkland teenagers couldn’t be real students, could they?  They must be crisis actors, because 16 and 17 year olds couldn’t be that much smarter and quicker in debate, speech and tweet-fighting than Republican wizards like Trump, LaPierre, the Fox stooges and the even worse. Could they? Like Laura Ingraham, even your well-dressed, urban closet redneck is reluctant to realize that he is a creature of an increasingly obsolete identity, duller, slower, stupider and more backwards than most high school students who have managed to stay out of the reach of the evangelical edu-propaganda system.

Which doesn’t mean they can’t win. Trumpism and the cruel fantasies of American right wing and “conservatism” could be an efflorescence of pus and fever coming to the surface as a disease dissipates, but it is also possible that the armies of brute, ignorant kleptocracy will win.

© NOLAscape 2018

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